Free on the Inside - #9

Meth Steals Time

Time has become so important to me now. I can’t waste it. I am focused on my rehabilitation, on my heath, and on the future.

That wasn’t the case when I was high. I wasted so much time, and I didn’t care. For days I would sit around my apartment, under the influence, doing nothing. The minutes and hours flew by. Why worry?

Meth steals time. It keeps you strung out for days. You can’t sleep. You don’t eat. Then, you crash, you fall into a deep sleep, and another day is gone.

When I awoke, the wasted hours would dawn on me. Never again I swore, after coming down off the high. I told myself I would finally give it up. But I didn’t. I became depressed. I was ashamed. Soon after, I’d reach for the pipe again. I had become an addict. It took time, and the support of those close to me, to break the cycle and get clean.

Tough Love

I have a friend I’m able to talk to on the phone from time to time. We used to get high together. We have both been open about our addiction, and our struggle to overcome its grip. I was disappointed when he told me that he had relapsed. After missing too many days at work he lost his job.

As part of my own recovery effort, I have made it my mission to be up front and honest with anyone else trying to stay clean. I want to help them avoid the mistakes I made. I tell them I know what they’re going through. I am sympathetic, and supportive. I encourage them to keep at it. I can’t force sobriety on anyone, but I also need to tell the truth.

Although I was disappointed, I wasn’t going to hound my friend about staying clean, going to N.A. (Narcotics Anonymous) and finding a new job. But it was clear to me that he wasn’t ready to quit. He started crying when I told him that. He told me that’s what he needed to hear. He wanted me to be hard on him, he wanted tough love.

It was months of tough love from many of the people around me that got me sober, even before my arrest. My life was crumbling all around me. I had reached rock bottom. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Tough love helped me quit. It is #soberboy era for me now.